Discussing My Ranking for Hazbin Hotel songs because it's Thanksgiving Week and I'm Busy

Hey, some days in this self-imposed writing challenge I have too many ideas for articles that I have to write two, but others: others I can barely scrap together two brain cells to even give you one half-asses one. Compile this with Thanksgiving Week starting and my half-assed solution: discussing this ranking list that I made a few nights ago about Hazbin Hotel Songs.

Now of course, like all opinion lists I make, I am objectively correct and any and all complaints shows your inferior tastes in media and everyone else is laughing at you.

Starting at D tier, honestly this is where I put the songs that when I sat back I could not remember a single word about them. They could be fine songs but I’m taking the fact that my brain rolled these songs up and tossed them in the bin that maybe they aren’t anything I would ride or die to defend.

More interesting is C Tier which is songs that I remember but either have such a large flaw in the, Such as Hell’s Greatest Dad ending with a chord dedicated to what is so far a throwaway Gag character’s introduction knocking it down significantly. Or works that I remembered despite them not being quite
remarkable, this would be Happy Day in Hell.

B Tier is reserved for songs that are definitely bops, and belong on my play list but don’t have any major flaws that kick it down, and A List are the songs I find myself humming while doing dishes.

The songs I really want to take about is the top 4, the S tier songs that actually not only are great songs by themselves but substantially improve the whole show by either wearing a very good inspiration or doing major character work.

First: a word on Loser, Baby. Honestly this is the song I struggled with most as it’s an excellent song that really highlights a character relationship, but just didn’t make the cut into the top 4, because the other 4 just did so much more. But I would be a liar if I were to say I don’t bust into a room saying “THERE THEY ARE THEY’RE FUCKIN’ SINGIN!?” In a Jersey accent at least occasionally.

Vox Populi: I’m gonna be honest here, about 90% of this one’s placement comes from Lucifer’s opening chorus. Just an incredible performance and animation that ranges the gamut of being badass, to intimidating, to a bit silly, complete with Vox no selling the entire performance. It’s a great opener with an awesome follow
up that ends up telling a lot about these characters. Lucifer is powerful, protective, and slightly silly as he doesn’t really know how to intimidate. But Vox responding with a power stance only to turn the tables in the back hand of the song, it really sells the moment, and sells Vox as a genuine threat.

Stayed Gone: This song from the first season is often what I show musical lovers when pitching this show. It’s speak-sing style, reminiscent of "You Got Trouble" from Music Man generates a feeling of a yellow journalist sensationalizing the news, really characterizing Vox for his first major outing. Alastor joining in with a similar style also neatly foreshadows their rivalry and eventual clash, showing Alastor as being far more confident and competent by the end, showing their relative power. Honestly a great early piece.

You Didn’t Know: This is a dizzying song with a bunch of moving elements, and this would be merely a A or even a B if not for a single scene, where Sera looks at Emily with a sweet look on her face but the reflection of hellfire in her eyes. A symbol of the kindly sweet face being put on what is affectively a genocide. I simply can’t stop thinking about it.

Gravity: Gravity was the stand out song in season 2, and yes the entire series. And it earns its spot on just being fucking that good. From the blocking and animation to just the hard as fuck instrumentals, to the subtle Adam lyrics behind Lute, to the “Sanctus Dominus” during a pause as Lute breaks the window. This song really gets at the heart of Lutes villain motivation and her anger at one of those she considers lower scratching her like this. Also “An Eye for an Eye says you owe me a debt.” Goes fucking hard.

Jack Shawhan, AKA The Terrier, is a writer and internet funny person with occasional observations on politics, media, and modern life. If you would like to support his continued writing consider subscribing to his Ghost or if you would like to buy him a coffee send to his CashApp $JackShawhan.